I AM STILL ALIVE 2.4.2020

I AM STILL ALIVE 2.4.2020

ONE SELF PORTRAIT EVERY DAY in 2020 : 93

I painted this painting in 1978 so I was 9 or 10 at the time.

I was really into Oskar Kokoschka and I remember copying (or trying to) many of his works. This one was part of a series of paintings of bridges he did.

It all started with my pastel drawing of a Triffid. Before the Triffid I didn’t think I was any good at Art. In class we had been reading “The Day of the Triffids” and we all had to do a picture of a triffid. I had broken my right arm (falling off a skateboard or playing rounders) so had to draw with my left hand, being right-handed the result was pretty messy. All our Triffids where on display in a corridor outside our classroom.

Dorothy, the art teacher for the older kids, saw my Triffid and thought it was really good, not messy but expressionistic. She must have really liked it because I was asked to go to the Art room and meet her. She showed me books with reproductions of paintings by Derrain, Matisse, Klimt, Kokoschka and I was blown away.

From then on, I was allowed to go into the art room pretty much any time, and paint. Not only I had found a passion, I also felt more confident and with a sense of purpose. At the beginning I thought it was all a kind set up to try and bring up my self-esteem but I gradually started to believe that I was good and that I wanted to be an artist when I grew up.

I have lost touch with Dorothy, I would love to see her again and hug her and say thank you for giving me meaning in life. I don’t think I was especially talented before the Triffid but I think that talent comes out of passion and if you have passion in something you will become talented. I believe that I got my passion for art by chance: if I hadn’t broken my am I wouldn’t have drawn such a “bad” triffid and if Dorothy hadn’t passed by and noticed it I would have never thought about being an artist. I haven’t really achieved anything as an artist but it has given me meaning and has shaped my life, it has definitely made me someone who doesn’t want to conform.

I have asked many people and nobody knows what happened to Dorothy. She was called Dorothy Vettore but when she moved back to New York she reverted to her maiden name Zilka.

2.4.2020.


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