ONE SELF PORTRAIT EVERY DAY in 2020 : 343

I just found this book hidden in my bookshelf. I can’t remember buying or owning this book . I quite like the fact that in 2006 I possessed all the information and had all the advice I would need to get ahead in the UK art world and didn’t take advantage of it.

I like the fact that it looks like I gave up at page 31 (out of 448 pages). I’m sure I would have skipped the 3 page introduction and would have skimmed through the 3 pages of advice on how to deal with galleries. The next section is a listing of “all [most] commercial galleries, dealers and exhibition spaces in London. I had ticked and numbered in pencil the galleries (I imagine) found interesting and maybe planned to approach them. 1. 198 Gallery; 2. 291 Gallery; 3. The Agency; 4. Alison Jacques Gallery; 5. The Approach; 6. Arthouse Gallery; 7. Artist’s Eye Space; 8. August Art; 9. Barbara Behan Contemporary Art; 10. Bearspace; 11. Brixton Art Gallery; 12, Cabinet; 13. Cambell Works; 14. Centre of Attention; 16. Clapham Art Gallery …

Then I stopped. I gave up with this methodical plan. It’s a pity tough as if I had carried on to page 58 I would have come across studio1.1 [Studio 1.1 in the book] “An artists’ collective founded in 2003 to show contemporary work in any medium”.

I did end up getting to know studio1.1 in 2008 though. I had designed and organised the printing of the Marmite Prize catalogue (The art prize created by Marcus Cope and Stephanie Moran) which that year launched at studio1.1 and I think I must have been in the gallery making a display with the catalogues when Michael Keenan starts conversing with me, I remember being really chuffed that I was being treated respectfully and as if I were an artist. I know, I’m tedious with this “I am not sure I’m an artist” thing, now I’m pretty sure I am an artist, at least some kind of artist but at the time I was really suffering from impostor syndrome. I had just completed an MA in Fine Art in Chelsea but I thought I had bluffed my way through it, that I didn’t really get it whilst everybody else did. Now I know that nobody really gets it.

Anyway, it turns out that Michael thought I was the artist Oliver Kossack but I’m sure he would have been nice to me anyway.

Here’s a funny story about Oliver Kossacks, the Marmite prize that year was dedicated to him but they didn’t tell him. He must have googled himself and found out about it and got in touch asking if he was the Oliver Kossack the prize was dedicated to. When they told him he was the one, he asked if could come to the opening and I remember (maybe wrongly) that he came all the way from Germany. During the private view he gave a wonderfully long speech and I remember enjoying seeing people despairing about it never ending. 

Later that day (before the private view but after Michael mistook me for Oliver Kossack, I met Keran James and I must say that we clicked pretty much straight away. He is now one of my closest friends and art companion and it makes me think that if in 2006 I had carried on with my quest to become a successful artist, let’s say at least up to page 58, I might have ticked studio1.1 and maybe I would have visited the gallery. I know Keran well and I know that if I had showed up with my portfolio (I didn’t have a portfolio but let’s assume I would have put one together) he would have politely told me to go away.

I AM STILL ALIVE

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